Revelations of the 4th time around

I've officially reached 33 weeks in this pregnancy! Sure I may be currently typing with a heating pad on my back and after having eaten a large bowl of ice cream, but that's all par for the course, right? I also kind of wish I'd gone to bed at least 3 hours ago. (Also standard for me.) So I'll try to keep this brief.

The truth is, for all my complaining, I am so elated to be pregnant. I could cite a hundred reasons for this current phenomenon, but mostly I just really really really wanted this baby. Also, I'll admit I enjoy all the attention - people holding doors for me and picking things up for me and smiling indulgently when I go back for a third serving of ice cream (instead of surveying my figure and shaking their heads disapprovingly). Nowhere is there another situation where I will be so indulged as only pregnant women are. But back to the baby. With all of my other babies, the excitement of pregnancy was a little bit tempered by that overwhelming sense of panic. With the first, of course, I just panicked over everything. With Brooklyn, it was panic over having to multitask (I know, heaven forbid.) - and after she was born, panic over the sudden harsh realization that all children are not the same! By the time #3 came along, it was panic over having to go from one-on-one to zone defense. Three kids??? I don't even have that many hands! Then I got used to that and, as many veteran parents love to tell me, it's all the same after that. Now with #4 on his way, I have officially run out of things to be panicked about. Do I have enough clothes? Absolutely. What about a stroller? I think I've owned 11 in my lifetime, so I have tested every model and am confident in the 5 I have in my garage. What if he won't sleep? Easy - it's a trick question: I already know there is no answer to this one. I can always just wait until he's a toddler and then I can bribe him with M&Ms. Lots of people go 2-3 years without sleep. What if he has a diaper blow-out at the very moment I'm trying to pack a lunch for one daughter and braid the other's hair and get Troy to put his pants on frontward? No sweat. I already know this will happen, and probably daily, and that this is the stuff hilarious memories are made of. All I have to do is make sure my camera batteries are charged.

So now that the panic is finally over (yes it took me 3 kids to get to this point!) I can sit back and daydream about the tiny little toes I will kiss and the soft baby skin I will smell and the midnight cuddle time I will spend nursing and probably sneaking in episodes of Sherlock on the side. I can't wait!

(Okay, quick disclaimer here: I'm not going to pretend like I don't have those moments of "WHAT WERE WE THINKING?" ...Like... maybe every single day. Especially when my three current children have maybe taken the grocery store by storm or decided to make homemade confetti in the living room or confused the permanent markers with dry erase ones. Again. And I waddle around all pregnant and awkward, putting out fires, and everyone looks at me like I may have escaped from an insane asylum. Yes I frequently have and expect I always will have those moments.) But even the fleeting "what-were-we-thinking" moments or other people's candid judgment will not dampen my excitement for this little boy!

The only thing that remains is to speculate whether his beautiful little eyes will be blue or brown. Travis commented the other day how funny it would be if 3 of our 4 kids ended up with blue eyes. It was a possibility that had not occurred to me. In my mind, I only have little brown-eyed boys.

And sometimes they like to dress themselves for church...

 (My fashion-designer sister-in-law says that according to GQ, this look is called "mixed print." I like it.)

Mostly I love how he asks me every day what we're doing that day, and if I say we're going to church, he puts on his corduroys and a button-down shirt. Any one will do.

And of course he has to top it off with a tie. Again, any one will do.
(When I took this picture, I asked for a "BIG" smile. That is why he's standing on his tippy-toes.)

 I'm not the only one who loves attention. This little spotlight is going to be a hard one for him to share, I'm afraid!