Monday, November 13, 2017

The Entitlement Solution

So I've been battling THIS for years and years and years. Pretty much for as long as my girls could walk.

I even thought we had it under control this last time, until the seasons changed and I asked them to go clear out their closet of clothes that didn't fit or they didn't like or were out of season. The clothes spilled onto the floor, the job was never completed, and as we know, clutter begets clutter and the rest is history. Plus Brooklyn, dear little Brooklyn, bless her heart, has this crazy fun gene in her that makes her behave like a bull in a china shop. She's really fun and spontaneous, but somehow everything she touches spirals out of control in a cataclysmic eruption of entropy. And that apparently results in her bedroom floor being covered in literal garbage. Seriously, I don't know where the garbage comes from.

Well lately in my desperate attacks of my bookshelf, where I hopelessly swim through all the parenting books I've amassed over the years, I've been reading The Entitlement Trap by Linda and Richard Eyre. AMAZING. And oh so true. Okay so by "I've been reading" of course I mean "I made it through the first chapter," but I do plan to finish it all. In the meantime, I completely agree that our belongings have more value when we've worked hard to earn them, and perhaps the trick to getting my kids to take care of their belongings is to make sure they have value, or allow them to keep only the ones they will really value. So today, I went in their room with boxes and bags like the Grinch and I took everything.

Well, it is my parental duty to provide for their basic needs, so I did leave them each three shirts, two pairs of pants, three pairs of socks and underwear, and a pair of shoes. I'm not totally heartless. I also left the books on their bookcase because I burned out FAST, man! But other than that, I took virtually everything else out of their room. Then I moved it to the guest room. (Prospective guests: there is no room for you for at least the next week or so.)
When the girls came home from school, I took them upstairs and proudly showed them what I'd done. I tried to keep it positive and exciting. The guest room full of stuff is now the "STORE". In order to get anything from it to put in their room, they have to do a chore to EARN it. Once they've acquired a new belonging, they must immediately find a permanent place for it (approved by me!) and must always put it away, or they risk having it reclaimed by the Store. At the same time, I'll be sorting through the Store and getting rid of all the excess, so it will be a race to see how much they can earn before it goes away forever! They were wary at first, but when I explained my plan they were super excited! And then they spent the rest of the afternoon playing in their empty room, because it was so CLEAN! You seriously couldn't walk in there before.


  

The other spot I didn't touch - and this is the incredible phenomenon - is the little under-the-bed hiding place, which is a little home they've set up for their American Girl dolls and all their furniture. That place, when Travis and I dove in to clean it out, looked like Martha Stewart lived there. We were so amazed we didn't touch a thing. If they can keep it that pristine, they deserve to keep it all! We discussed this amazing surprise with them and concluded that it's because they really value their favorite possessions, and we tried to explain that everything in their room should be that way!

We still have a long road ahead as we weed through the ridiculous amount of excess junk we've accumulated, but for now I'm pretty proud of myself for emptying that room in one afternoon. I'm feeling pretty invincible right now! Now to be consistent with all of the things, and keep my girls fired up about taking stewardship over their belongings and being grateful for them.

0 sweet nothings: