What if?

A few nights ago I was tucking my girls into bed and reminded them to stay in bed (sounds obvious, right? But it needs to be said), and they peppered me with the usual "what ifs?"

"What if we need a drink?"

"What if there's an emergency?"

"What if my nose starts bleeding?"

"What if the house catches on fire?"

"What if we get hurt?"

etc.

It's a fun game we play where they think up any extenuating circumstance imaginable and then I give them all the answers they already know or could come up with by themselves if they just thought about it. (Just kidding - it is not really a fun game, and they are genuinely concerned about all of these things.)

Finally I got tired and said, "No! No more 'what ifs'! You are big enough to know exactly what to do! Good night!"

Of course, simply growing older does not make the "what ifs" automatically go away.

I saw a commercial for something, probably insurance, in which a nervous dad-to-be was pacing the living room going over all the "what ifs" in his head:

"What if he doesn't like me?"

"What if he breaks his arm?"

"What if he wants an iguana?"

"What if the iguana breaks its arm?"

etc.

I am just as guilty as my girls of letting the what-ifs keep me up at night. Parenting is tough stuff, and if I don't do it right, there's no one to stop me! I'm not accountable to anyone, oh except for those tiny little people that seem all too easy to ruin. But fortunately by some miracle they've made it this far! That doesn't mean I don't still spend a good portion of each day musing to myself, "What if she doesn't make any friends? What if someone teases her? What if someone teaches her bad words? What if he never learns to say Rs and Ss? What if he gets sick? What if we all get sick? What if they grow up to be like me???" I think those kind of parent anxieties never end.

Kate in particular has always been a very high-anxiety personality. She worries and worries herself sick over everything. She had such a hard time starting school, and all new situations are their own particular kind of challenge. She will stress out over every concern she can think of until she literally makes herself sick. I'm afraid her doubt and hesitation hold her back from trying new things or even doing things she really loves. Brooklyn does not naturally share this anxiety, but Kate rubs off on her and makes her second-guess everything she didn't think to worry about herself. My job is to take these uncertain fledgling little ducklings and teach them to fly! No small task, to be sure! I loved this poem by Erin Hanson as soon as I saw it, and I immediately thought of Kate.

She is such a "what if I fall?" kind of girl by nature. My challenge is to erase, gradually, the negative "what ifs" and replace them with positive ones! It's a tough world for little girls these days, and there will always be so much to worry about - no need for them to start so young! In the end all I can do is hope and pray that I have taught them well enough to be able to handle all the "what ifs" that come their way, and adapt or adjust or fight or fly accordingly.

So this is now hanging on their bedroom wall.

Funny story: I had a little trouble getting it to stay up there initially (it's a good-sized 2 ft x 3 ft), so tonight when Brooklyn went in her room and saw that I had stuck that picture up on the wall once again, she surveyed it uncertainly and said nervously, "What if it falls?" 

HA! Well it's a work in progress.