Why I don't Twitter. I mean... twit? Tweet?... Yeah here's why.

Here's a sampling of the random jumble of nonsense fluttering around in my head at any given time:

Sometimes I listen to the classical music radio station in the car. It helps me to relax and avoid those frequent bouts of road rage that I suffer from (not my fault, it's a neurological disorder... you can ask my husband, the neuroscientist), and also it makes me feel as if I'm somehow making my children smarter through auditory osmosis. Anyway, mostly I love the DJs of the classical station. Sometimes they try so hard to sound so excruciatingly intellectual and erudite that I think they're going to hurt themselves. Overheard the other day, following a Chopin Nocturne: "He was going through a folklore-istic period..." A what? Man, I HATE it when that happens! Those folklore-istic periods just sneak up on you, don't they? And please tell me what exactly a "folklore-istic" period is?

Kate is learning about Mt. Rushmore in school. She was telling me about it on the way home, and so I asked, "Can you tell me who are the presidents carved on Mt. Rushmore?" (No really... I don't know... but I want her to think that I do know but I'm just trying to challenge her.) Kate: "Um... President Obama... and... George Washington?" I don't know what they're teaching her at that little school of theirs, but I'm pretty sure Obama is NOT up there.

While cooking: I read the side label on the jar of paprika. "Good for browning meats in the microwave." HUH??? Who browns meats in the microwave? And why would I use paprika as part of that process? I'm pretty sure that is not generally the primary use for paprika. I know, you're thinking, "Can you do better? Do you really know what paprika is good for?" Why yes I can, and yes I do. I would have written, "Good for sprinkling on deviled eggs to make them look pretty," or, "Good for making your Cajun seasoning look red." YEAH??? Take that, Mr. McCormick!

I love hot apple cider.

What's worse than finding a blue crayon buried in a pile of clothes? Finding a blue crayon buried in a pile of clothes  that you just took out of the dryer.

The time period from Halloween to Easter (or really, October 1 through April 30) is pretty much a free-for-all in terms of candy. The way I see it, I like to work out in the summer (only), so I need to spend the winter giving myself something to work towards come spring. Plus, it's just my mammal instincts kicking in. I need to store extra fat for hibernation. But really, look: you've got Halloween and loads of candy, Thanksgiving and of course that's just tons of food all around, Christmas, the same of both, Valentine's day, and Easter - pretty much all candy/food-related holidays crammed into a 6-month period. I might as well just embrace it all and then recover from it later, during the following 6 months.

Speaking of October, I do NOT like being asked to make donations for "Breast Cancer Awareness." Really? I'd rather donate to the ACTUAL RESEARCH rather than the advertising that makes people aware that breast cancer exists. Maybe having a husband in scientific research just makes me hyper-aware of how underfunded it is, but seriously? I don't think I know anyone who does not know about breast cancer.

NOW are you glad I don't Twit? Do I really need another place to purge the random thoughts in my brain? Really, who wants to hear about every thought that floats through my head? That's what my blog is for.